I am exhausted!

I am tired pretty much like I always am. Its exhausting being me. It is exhausting every day getting up with so much planned to do. A whole day of no leaving home. And getting little done. This is why I never clean and if I do its one thing and done. This is why I am still living at home. This is why I am still single. I am not pro active enough in my own life. Because of the way I feel. Everything that I HAVE to do takes energy. Sometimes even doing those are tiring but I do them because I know I have to do them. Daily. My dog needs meds. She needs to go outside. I have to clean my mouth guard. I have to change my earrings. My sisters plant needs to be watered since the rain season is going away it needs to be done twice a week. I need to shave. The pets waters and food need to be filled. So you think because I do all that I can do simple things like. Apply for a new job or an internship. How about looking at dating websites. How about cleaning ANYTHING. Even reading my love is hard to do. Its just so much energy. First I have to want to do such a thing. Putting it on a to do list IF I make one is a cute way to begin. Then I have to actually do it. But when I am tired, which is nearly daily, even if I have the whole day at home not working no school no plans, it is just plain HARD! Miracles today: I put the towels in and washed them and dryed them they still need to come out but I am almost done. I had to add washing two things my dog decided to pee on then clean up that pee why Rainbow why. I actually re potted my sisters cactus a plan I was going to do. It was messy dirt everywhere. Then I hung out my wind chimes because I not only remembered to this even if I got them months ago I actually found them (Had no idea where they were) and did it. Well after all that I was spent. I sat around watching tv for 45min a movie I had not seen decided it was dumb wondered why I even wasted time watching the ending when I never saw it in the first place. Dumb and Dumber too nope. Well after that I went on a walk also planned came home. Then things went down hill. I was suppose to eat m sandwich, pant my finger nails and toe nails (did that too!) then come online and apply for internships and do a few other things. Like catch up my live journal blog I am behind by 5 days. But I took way too long to come on here. My energy spent. Its almost 10pm. My sister will be home soon. The one internship I finally go to apply for and it wont let me past the first page. IT has one of those dumb put so many letters and numbers together to sign in. Well I DID THAT like at least 20x. It wont let me sign in. My computer got stupid with the internet connection its issue that comes up for several days in a row every few months. WHY I down loaded some songs from itunes been wanting. That was good. And now my only day off till Monday is gone. And I got nothing done. Most people average people PEOPLE WITHOUT THIS BRAIN DAMAGE just do not get why its so hard for us ADD/ADHD people to get stuff done. Why its hard to do the simplest of tasks and finish them. You just do not get it. I am exhausted I am tired ALL THE TIME. I just cant do things when I am tired. And when I am tired all the time. My depression gets the best of me. I have social anxiety, depression, OCD, autism, perfectionist, introvert and ADD. I am a simple mess. And doing anything daily is hard enough but doing stuff that is both important and necessary is impossible. Btw Christians can and do get depressed and suffer issues. My issues are hidden they are in me. They eat away at me. Daily. Nothing can be done but deal. And wish I had more energy to stop being so frustrated to get stuff done that I need to do I really do NEED to do it but I just cant no matter what or how much I want to try sigh